Preventing Suicide: A Handbook for Pastors, Chaplains and Pastoral Counselors (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2014)
I have been reading a practical book by Karen Mason entitled Preventing Suicide: A Handbook for Pastors, Chaplains and Pastor Counselors. Excellent Resource!
Not many incidents in life are as excruciating as the loss of your husband or wife. You may be unsure you will make it through this devastating loss. Sometimes, you may doubt you even possess the strength or passion to make an effort to heal.
You are starting an adventure that is commonly terrifying, too much to handle and often lonely. This post offers useful recommendations to assist you in moving forward towards healing in your individual grief ordeal.
1. Permit Yourself to Grieve
If you currently are not confident of who you are, and you seem confused, that is appropriate since you have lost a piece of yourself. Whenever you encounter the loss of someone you love, live with, and rely on, feeling disoriented is normal.
You are now confronted with the complex but necessary need to grieve. Grieving is the clear expression of your thoughts and emotions concerning the loss of your husband or wife. It is a fundamental component of getting better.
Suffering the loss of a spouse is one of the worse experiences that we must all face. 40 percent of women and 13 percent of men who are 65 and older are widowed, according to the latest polls. Until recently, hardly any solid research existed with regards to how our society survived after a spouse passed away. Yet in the past many years, social scientists along with extraordinary accessibility to large numbers of widowers, have actually uncovered 5 unusual facts pertaining to losing a significant other.
1. We Oscillate. For years, it has been said that sorrow can be found in five phases: denial, anger, acceptance, bargaining and depression. If we were actually to diagram those stages, the emotional feelings would seem something like a capital W, with two major low points implying anger or depression, and the two upward parts of the W implying acceptance. But when psychologists asked recent widows to fill in regular questionnaires for 3 months, extensive fluctuations happened from day to day. A widow might just experience distress and depression one day, moving to feeling lighthearted and cheerful the following. Put simply, we don’t grieve in stages, our grief changes dramatically from day to day; we oscillate. With time, those swings lessen in both regularity and intensity until we reach a degree of emotional change.